13 September 2026

At Fun Start Childcare, we know that children’s behaviour can sometimes leave parents wondering, “Why are they doing this?” or “What can I do to help?”

The good news is that challenging behaviour is often a normal part of growing up. Young children are still learning how to communicate, manage their emotions, understand boundaries and cope with disappointment. Sometimes their behaviour is simply their way of telling us that something isn’t quite right.

Our role as adults is to help children understand their feelings and learn positive ways to express them.

🌈 Behaviour is Communication
When a child is upset, frustrated or overwhelmed, they may not have the words to explain how they feel. Instead, we might see crying, shouting, refusing to cooperate, hitting, throwing or having a tantrum.
Rather than asking only, “How do I stop this behaviour?”, it can help to ask:

“What is my child trying to tell me?”

They could be tired, hungry, overwhelmed, frustrated, struggling with a change in routine or simply finding it difficult to communicate what they need.

Understanding the reason behind behaviour can help us respond rather than react.

🧸 Keep Calm and Consistent
We know this isn’t always easy!
When a child is having a difficult moment, staying calm can help them feel safe. Children are still developing the skills needed to regulate their emotions, so they often need adults to help them co-regulate.

Simple phrases can help:

“I can see you’re feeling angry.”
“It’s okay to feel cross, but it’s not okay to hit.”
“I’m here to help you.”
“Let’s take a moment to calm down.”
“When you’re ready, we can talk about it.”
Clear and consistent boundaries also help children understand what is expected of them. The NHS recommends consistency because children can find it confusing when adults respond differently to the same behaviour from one day to the next.
N
nhs.uk

⭐ Notice the Good Stuff!
One of the most powerful things we can do is notice and praise positive behaviour.
Sometimes difficult behaviour gets lots of attention, while the moments when children are being kind, helpful or patient can pass unnoticed.

Try catching them being good:

“I noticed you shared your toy with your friend — that was really kind.”

“Thank you for putting your toys away when I asked.”

“You waited so patiently. Well done!”

Being specific helps children understand exactly which behaviour you are praising. Positive attention can encourage them to repeat that behaviour.
N
nhs.uk

🗣️ Give Children Choices
Young children are developing their independence, and sometimes saying “no” is their way of showing that they want some control.
Where appropriate, offering two simple choices can help:

“Would you like the red top or the blue top?”

“Would you like to tidy the cars first or the books?”

The choices are still within your boundaries, but your child gets to feel involved.

❤️ Remember: Feelings Are Okay, Behaviour Has Boundaries
Positive parenting doesn’t mean allowing children to do whatever they want.
Children need warmth, reassurance and clear boundaries.

It’s perfectly okay to say:

“I know you’re angry. I’m going to help you, but I won’t let you hurt someone.”
This helps children learn an important lesson: all feelings are okay, but not every behaviour is okay.

🌱 Give Them Time to Learn
Children don’t learn emotional regulation overnight. It takes time, repetition and lots of practice.
There will be good days and difficult days — for children and parents!

At Fun Start Childcare, we believe that working together with families is one of the best ways to support children’s emotional development and wellbeing. Sharing what works at home and nursery can help children experience consistent expectations and support.

Most importantly, remember that you don’t have to be a perfect parent. You’re learning alongside your child.

📚 Helpful Resources for Parents
If you’d like to find out more about children’s behaviour and positive parenting, these trusted resources are a great place to start:
https://www.nhs.uk/baby/babys-development/behaviour/dealing-with-child-behaviour-problems/
https://families.barnardos.org.uk/4-8-years/understanding-behaviour
https://elibrary.cumbria.gov.uk/elibrary/Content/Internet/537/17241/17247/4320811812.PDF



💛 A Little Reminder from Fun Start Childcare
Every child is different. Every family is different. And every child needs time, patience and support as they learn to understand their emotions and behaviour.
Connection before correction, kindness alongside boundaries, and plenty of praise for the little things can make a big difference.

If you are finding your child’s behaviour particularly difficult to manage or it is causing you concern, please don’t feel that you have to manage it alone. Speaking with your health visitor or GP can be a good first step for additional support.

At Fun Start Childcare, we’re always here to work alongside our families and help our little ones have the happiest, healthiest and most positive start possible. 🌈💛

Book a Tour